I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize