Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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