...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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