It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
