FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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