I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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