plz talk dirty to me
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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