somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
