let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
