Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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