is your mom at the bar?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
