exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
