I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
