I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
