bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
