Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize