we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
