My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
you had me at cake vodka
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My vagina just clenched in fear
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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