im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize