a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Randomize
