i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
