butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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