Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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