You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
