I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
