just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
