i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
