she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
