Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
