dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
