There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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