I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
