there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
