My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
