I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
