Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
