Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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