whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Randomize
