I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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