plz talk dirty to me
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
