bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
