Soap is not a condiment
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
