No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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