Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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