hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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