If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
