I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
