just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
