haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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