I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
