butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
