Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
