he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
