I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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