dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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