i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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