are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
3pm strippers are depressing
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
