That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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